An Old Disappointment

I was suddenly reminded of a disappointment from a while back, and my old blog post in respond to it. Sometimes, words written in anger can sound so right.

I guess I know what he’s thinking about again. I am so stupid, I missed another chance at pleasing her. While -she- must be saying everything good and supportive to her, I threw a huge wet blanket at her. What you may not know though, are the things that are truly bothering me -Why do you always see me as being so shallow? Why do you always try to tell me how to live my life based on some idea you spawn out of the top of your head? Why do I always have to justify my choices by a quantifiable expected benefit?

And she. There is probably nothing more abominable than throwing support and saying all the noble things about leaving the problems for her to solve, without even understanding if solving the problem was what I really wanted. How do you show that you truly care for my welfare, when you are not interested in what this program was all about, don’t ask if it would be beneficial to me and don’t consider if there were any other problems and risks involved?

I need someone to discuss the issue with, to cross-check if the benefits and problems that I consider are real and to share with me his/her advice. I don’t need someone to judge me, or to be blindly supportive of me.

- Confessions to a Stranger, 1 April 2008